It was such a hot day that Manny decided to take a break from the Office and take a quick jaunt over to Grafton. He made himself at home and jumped up onto the table.
Manny was very quickly joined by company in the form of the neighbours moggy jumping up on the table too. Love at first sight is the first thing that springs to mind!
How wrong we were to think that! The wretched cat was hungry and went straight for Manny's jugular artery!
In an eye blink Manny was incapacitated and lay bleeding terribly - staining the cutting board that so conveniently seems to appear out of nowhere.
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It was obvious that Manny was up a creek without a paddle!
Luckily for Manny (and CharlieK) some local lads were in the area so we waved them down instead of dialing 111 for the Ambulance Service!
They were quick to set up a triage area and Manny quickly had an IV administered, an EKG set up and a defibrillator ready to shock the bee-jesus out him!
Suddenly Manny went into cardiac arrest and his poor little perspec heart went 'blargh blergh' and he went ka-put! Not even a panadol bought him around.
Quickly one of the lads began CPR and after 5 compressions a puff of plastic dust was seen to blow out of Manny's nostrils! He was alive but not well!
An 'on the spot' triple bypass was undertaken! It was messy! It was Gory! It was disgusting. It was ... bloody! Smells of the Normandy Beach Landing hung in the air. Memories of 'Hamburger Hill', 'Full Metal Jacket' and 'Platoon' came flooding back! Every one cursed Tom Jones' 'Whats New Pussy Cat'!
After 20 minutes of 'triple bypassing' Manny suddenly recovered and stood up. A bandage was quickly applied to his chest to stop the blood from squirting everywhere and it worked!
In fact a halo was seen around the sun and at the same time the strum of heavenly harps were heard strumming from nowhere. An eerie feeling unfolded but Manny was back!
Another 5 minutes later he had recovered fully so the Fire Brigade left and Manny stood large and proud on the table oblivious to the preceding events that had just occurred. In fact, he was a minuscule slightly thirsty! When offered some cold water he refused it!
Instead, he opted for a very quiet one or two with the inhabitants of Grafton and that was the end of his BDO!
By all accounts Manny is still strapping along well but has asked when he will be going to Waiheke Island for a BDO.
That was January 12, 2009!
Acknowledgment to Fire Appliance picture: New Zealand Fire Service
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